As a child, I held back a secret. Sometimes it felt as though keeping that secret was all-consuming, other times I could push it right back in my mind, sometimes deluding myself, actually questioning it at all only to be reminded. I put on a mask at such a young age in the hopes to keep everyone happy, in the hopes that everyone would continue to love me.
My secret kept me trapped in my cage, separated from everyone.
Feeling as though you have no one to turn to for support.
Feeling isolated (Often self-inflicted as it can feel like the only way to protect yourself).
Lack of genuine, healthy relationships.
Lack of relationships in which you feel you can be authentically you.
When I do my weekly card pull in my free group there is always a message regarding intuition and I understand why.
Many of us in the group have learned not to trust our intuition, not to tune into it, not to value it.
I will give you an example. When you experience a domineering parent or an abusive guardian, your sense of ‘we are just as important as anyone else’ and ‘my opinion matters’ is overridden. Low self-esteem is the result.
‘I am not as worthy as others.’ You subconsciously tell yourself.
There are many other circumstances in which you will adopt this belief in childhood.
A belief that you genuinely believe to be true that over time you pass as fact.
You ignore your own internal navigation system time and time again because you have come to believe that you aren’t reliable or trustworthy. Others know better.
One of the most popular topics that people come to me about is relationships. After all, the quality of our lives is very much determined by the quality of the relationships we have with ourselves and others. I will start this by saying exactly what I do in my private sessions. You can not change anyone else. It’s important to acknowledge what is in your control and what is not. Ultimately, you can not force change within your loved one, you can however do your own work and come from a place of understanding, compassion, and assertion. We will get on to that in a moment.
So let’s talk about what a healthy relationship is. I have popped a list below however consider whether you have any additions to make.
Black Moon Lilith placement.
Black Moon Lilith is a point in the sky in which the moon is farthest from the earth.
A story of Lilith because you know I’m a nerd for these things.
In some Jewish mythology/folklore, Lilith is told to be Adams’s first wife before Eve. Rather than being created from his rib as Eve, she was created with the same clay as Adam. In the stories, she refuses to be subservient to Adam stating that they are equals, and leaves the Garden of Eden. She was portrayed as a demoness and the story goes that the angels killed hundreds of her children a day for her disobedience. There has been a turnaround on the view of Lilith as being the original woman to fight for equality.
Astrology, do you know Chiron’s placement in your astrological natal chart?
Did you know that it can help you understand your core wounds?
Excuse my geekiness for a moment but I think it really helps to explain where this asteroid/comet got its name as it really helps to understand the nature of it.
So many fears around this topic.
Fearful of appearing weak.
Fearful of being hurt.
Fearful of being taken advantage of.
Fearful of rejection.
Fearful of judgment.
Your shadow is the parts of our personality that you don’t see or don’t want to see.
It is all the parts of yourself that you repressed in childhood. All of the parts of you that you think to be unlovable, unlikeable, unacceptable. Parts of us that we learn to hide because through lived experience we believe we have to. To belong, to survive.
It’s a subconscious part of us in which every experience, feeling, fear, and conclusion that we drew about ourselves as a child resides.
I want you to bear something in mind for a moment. As an adult, we are able to take all things into consideration surrounding any particular event or situation. As a child, we don’t have the capacity to do so. Therefore we tend to view ourselves as the center of the earth. All that goes on around us is because of us for example. We are also entirely reliant on our caregivers. They are like Gods to us, infallible. So when they get something wrong, they of course aren’t wrong. We are.
If ever you have struggled with social anxiety I...
I read something that shocked me recently.
Doctors rules that some women experience cramping that is as painful as a heart attack!
A bloody heart attack!
Now not having had a heart attack I have no idea if this is the case however it struck me.
We are just expected to carry on as usual and we do.
So, back to the point of this blog.
A year ago I decided to start honouring my cycles and it has been life-changing!
She/He/They is/are TOXIC!
I don’t believe in ‘toxic people’
Their behaviour, their attitude, their actions may well be unpleasant but them being labelled as ‘toxic’, I hate seeing it.
People aren’t toxic they have wounds.
For those with mental health conditions, much of their behaviour may be labelled as ‘toxic’. Pushing people away, cutting those that love them out, passive-aggressive to name a very small example.